Would you do it again?

I have had a year and a half of gut issues that probably originated when I lived in Nepal. The lack of diagnosis makes the invasive medical tests difficult medicine to swallow, but we know what the problem isn't. It isn't celiac, but if I avoid wheat I feel mostly normal. It isn't a giardia infection. I'm hoping it's not lactose or sugar replacements intolerance, but I'm humoring the GI doc and cutting them out for now, too.

This evening I was discussing said gut issues with my boyfriend who has been with me through the invasive diagnostics but didn't know me prior to January (yes, a little awkward to discuss one's bowels with a new partner, but now I know he's a keeper, right?) He commented that, though he admires the spirit with which I undertook my international volunteer work, he doesn't think he'd ever do such a thing given my and another friend's experience with gut issues after living abroad.

Then he asked if I'd do it again.

And I would, even knowing that I may come home with a completely different gut than when I left, which would preclude me eating staple foods - no pasta for a runner? Blasphemy! - participating in social events - no beer for me - and refreshing my breath after a meal of garlic - well, I am hoping to be able to chew gum again...

I try not to regret decisions I've made or experiences I've had, and this one is no different, even given how many changes I've had to make to my life as a result. If we are afforded experiences that change us forever for the good, then we have to also accept the experiences that change us forever for the bad.


Photos from the last (for now) Durango Snowdown Hash

Thinking about blogging is not the same as actually writing a post

I have been *thinking* about blogging, but clearly have not been doing so. Rather than give a run-down of that which I want to blog about I'll just do it in the up coming weeks.

For the moment, I am going to continue to put off writing a post of substance because I am in the process of reflecting on 2009 and what's to come in 2010; I am using the questions found in this post. I encourage you to do the same.

Photo take at the Palm Springs airport at the conclusion of my visit to see my sister and nephews in November.

Rock Canyon Half

Ran the Rock Canyon half marathon yesterday. For this, my first half marathon, my goals were lofty; I a) wanted to finish and b) wanted to finish in less than 2:30:00. I achieved both of my goals although, by the end, I felt like I was shuffling more than running. Results here.

I got home at 2pm, about two hours after I left Pueblo, and immediately fell asleep on the couch until 5:45p. Then I went dancing. I think the dancing was a good recovery activity; not taxing, but still actively moving that lactic acid out of my muscles. I am sore this morning, but not nearly as sore as I had anticipated.

Now that I have proven to myself I can run 13.1 miles, look for additional race results, including the Colfax Marathon in May!

Vox

Saw Vox Feminista this evening with mostly Planned Parenthood folks I met while volunteering (which I no longer do because I have a full-time job that's a handful for the moment).

It's the second of their shows I've seen and, as it was last year, seeing the show is exhausting, but also energizing and empowering.

With the tag line that reads, "To comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comfortable" this is definitely worth a look-see if you're in the Denver, Boulder or Fort Collins areas in the next week.

Passion (maybe a redux?)

I was recently asked about my experience in Nepal by a complete stranger. Specifically 'What was my experience like in Nepal?' I came up with a disjointed summary of some of the Nepal realizations I continue to mull over whilst participating in this American life...

In response to 'What was my experience like in Nepal?':

Amazing. Unsettling, in a good way. Refreshing.

Comfortable (I had never met so many people [Americans & foreigners doing mostly aid work] so passionate about their work before!) I don't like that so many people do (or have to do) jobs they don't feel passionate about. For some it's a choice (that I don't understand) for others it's necessity, which I do understand. But it was so comfortable and encouraging to hang out with crowds of folks who all *want* to be doing the work they're doing. The same can't be said for the locals, but the foreigners are a passionate bunch.

Also Nepal + meditation course = heightened self-awareness. I returned to the States feeling more independent and self-reliant than when I left. I think it was partially discovering that I was able to negotiate life in a completely foreign country by myself, but also that I don't *need* another person or any of the stuff I have accumulated.

I then purged 3/4 of the possessions that I paid to store for 4 months, packed the UHaul, and moved to Colorado. I still have stuff and I still like and want friends, but I feel more comfortable going my own way more often than not. Not 'needing' to stay up late because others are. Not 'needing' someone to accompany me in new experiences.

I was happier than I had been in a year, and happier than I have since been, while living in that developing country with dreadful water sanitation, blackouts for 17 hours per day, and no creature comforts.

A bit of a fanatic

I come from a short line of crossword puzzlers and, though it was not solely my grandparents who inspired my becoming a crossword fanatic, I'll give credit (or blame, depending upon how you view this hobby) where credit is due.

In addition to, or perhaps because of, the grand 'rent's influence, I enjoy word games - Scrabble, crossword puzzles, Apples to Apples, etc. But since Michael and I started getting together to do the Denver Posts' daily crossword puzzle offerings - NEA and New York Times - I have become a fanatic. But I do try to tread lightly on the reading material of others.

One of my first days at the county health department I had noticed the newspaper on the lunch room table, but didn't take the crossword puzzle page until 4:30pm, long after anyone cared about the paper. This led me to believe that, of those who read the paper, none were crossword puzzlers. And I've been snatching the crossword puzzle page(s) out of the paper at lunch ever since.

Perhaps this behavior doesn't smack of fanaticism, but when I tell you that I work the puzzle while sitting (in the driver's seat) at red lights on my commute home and then save the week's puzzles in order to work on them a bit before falling asleep, you might be more convinced of the appropriateness of the adjective I've assigned myself.

I tell this tale not only to share yet another aspect of my personality with you, but also to brag that today, November 2, 2009, I completed the New York Times Crossword ALL BY MYSELF (and only looked at the answers four times. Four times out of 136 clues! I only looked up 2.9% of the answers!) In the words of Julie, I'm darn tootin' proud of myself. And now to conquer Tuesday - Sunday.

Neighborhood

As I have moved from 'unemployed' to 'employed' and soon 'credit card debt free' I am looking towards the long-term future. A future filled with home ownership, a second cat, and a garden to call my own. But where?

Where I want to live and where I can afford to do so are turning out to be two very different parts of town. So I am working through what's most important - close to social life versus close to work, driving versus walking or biking, proximity to a grocery, proximity to friends. And it is the latter that is foremost on my mind currently. Specifically the friends I've made through my local coffee shop.

They are entertaining, caring folks, but how do they factor into my decision? And what else needs to factor into this decision (besides money)? Proximity to my hair dresser? A grocery? Distance from a fire station (I currently live 3 blocks from the busiest station in town; I need some distance from the sirens!) Distance from a busy street so Max can go outside? The school district for the children who aren't even a twinkle in my eye? Proximity to Julie? Michael? Chloe? Running folks?

I like the community with which I have surrounded myself in Capitol Hill. It is friendly. It is open minded. It is convenient. But it is expensive! Indeed, I want a room of my own, but I don't want to be a slave to the mortgage for it when I get to that point.

The Human Race 10K

It was sponsored by Nike, but I didn't fall for their ploys. I just ran their 10K; got a free tech t-shirt; ate the free bagels, bananas, and coffee; and didn't win the raffle. 6.21 miles in 58:19.

Shhhhhhh!

Don't tell my IT band, but it might be healed! I ran 6mi easy on Saturday and Sunday whilst scouting and then setting my Hash. Saturday my IT band bothered me and was miserable that evening. Sunday it gave little more than a moan and today it 'twas no trouble at all. So now I will register for the 10K and the half marathon I keep threatening to run before the year is out!

other's realities

So often I get caught up in my own world that I forget that there are other folks' versions of reality playing out every second of every day - 24/7/365. Today I experienced an almost surreal reminder of the existence of other's realities during the Hash.

I spent two hours throwing blue flour on the ground, aka 'setting trail', for my fellow Hashers to follow. I was not excited at the prospect of revisiting the trail for a third time in two days (having scouted the trail Saturday and set the trail Sunday) in order to run the trail. But I didn't have to. It wasn't my trail to run; it had been my trail to set.

So, while 16 people puzzled their way through my blue flour markings (some following the markings more accurately than others), I drove around in my car in order to arrive at designated points before them with the all-important beer.

They were cold; I was warm. They were on foot; I had my foot on the gas pedal. They didn't know where they were going; I had a pretty good map in my mind's eye of their trajectory (except for the ones that got 'lost'). We were occupying the same moments in time in completely different ways.

I particularly enjoy thinking about this concept of other's realities with a larger focus, as summarized by this quote:

The world in which you were born is just one model of reality.
Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit.
- Wade Davis*, anthropologist

He has an interesting TED talk that can be found here.

Breaking out of the routine

I am a creature of habit, but I know this and that is a powerful tool against it. So, because I started anticipating the mental acrobatics that breaking out of my routine of unemployment would require, one would think that the transition would be going smoothly. And it is.

Wrapping my head around losing a big chunk of my 'free' time was top on the list. Indeed, I have a sense of loss of my 'free' time, but I think now that I have less of it I am better able to hone in on what I really want to be doing as opposed to doing everything because I had the time and boredom to do so.

Next was cranki- and sleepiness from getting up at 6:30am. Yep. I'm tired although not cranky (aiming for a good impression y'know).

Strangely unanticipated was the retooling of my eating schedule. Where I had the unemployed eating under control - every three hours nearly like clock-work - I'm hungry nearly constantly now. Hopefully this is due to my brain's needing additional fuel to process the policy and procedure manuals I've been reading; the computer system I've been mucking with; and the navigation skills I've had to learn in order to get from my cubicle to my exam room.

So, as excited as I was to break out of my unemployed routine, to start this job, grow my professional career, and get out of the house, I'm also looking forward to having a routine again so I can stop eating.

Just a *little* neglectful

I have no excuse for not writing an update; I just haven't. Here is a nitty-gritty update on life since 9/17 (the date of my last post):

1) NEW JOB!
Working for the Jefferson County (Jeff Co) Public Health Department in the reproductive health department performing "Adult Health, Cancer Screening, Family Planning & Reproductive Health, Birth Control, HIV Counseling & Testing, Sexually Transmitted Disease Testing & Treatment". Nearly my dream job. So excited. I start 10/5 and aim to have a long, professionally rewarding career there.

2) IT band syndrome
Increased my running mileage too quickly (I guess... that is one of the common causes of IT band syndrome) and aggravated my iliotibial band, which runs from the outside portion of the hip to the outside of the knee. This means much pain when I run 'too far', which my body presently considers 6mi. Went on a hike with Julie and her/our friend Jen in Rocky Mountain National Park today and the activity helped stretch the offending tendon. I'm hoping to run <6mi tomorrow without pain.

3) Humboldt Street gardening complete
After installing a recycled plastic/recycled wood composite edging on the sidewalk gardens in front of my apartment, I have decided my gardening on Humboldt Street is complete. It's too late in the season to plant more (despite the building manager's request) and, due to starting at Jeff Co on Monday, I shall have less time to devote to agricultural pursuits. Photos to follow. Note: I am well aware that this does not mean I am done being Julie's garden bitch.

4) New bicycle
Well, it's an old bicycle that's new to me. The cool cruiser I was riding was stolen from the tree in front of my apartment (no trees were harmed in the theft of the bicycle, but the lock will never be the same), which put the kabosh on my two-wheeled transportation.

I have purchased a new set of wheels: a 1970s 10-speed which has been tricked-out with fenders at JD's Cycle Shack and I am thrilled. Well, I would be if the crank shaft of the pedals hadn't lost a nut and then a bolt and become useless. I'll be thrilled once again when I reassemble the crank.

5) JENNIFER 1, PARASITE 0
Still trying to figure out why my belly isn't happy, but the problem is no longer a parasite.

Garden of the Gods

Had a job interview in Colorado Springs yesterday for an RN position (more on that later). Decided to take advantage of having made the 1.5 hour drive and went running in Garden of the Gods.

The woman at the visitor's center indicated that there is a gravel trail that follows the road 'round the park in addition to a winding network of marked and unmarked trails that meander through the park. I took a map from the visitor's center, which I left in the car.

Started out from the parking lot at 2:45pm. Despite the recent rain, the trail was fairly dry except for the puddles. As one might imagine in a park in the foothills of the Rockies, the trails are rolling with a mix of rocks and gravel scattered amongst the red dirt.

I suffered through the up hills in order to coast down the other side and was feeling pretty good until the new pain in my right hip returned. Pushed through that to get to the southern tip of the park at 3:30pm at which point, I thought, turned around to head north to the car.

Ended up climbing a hill and seeing a deer only to turn around at 4pm in order to head back to the car. Took a wrong turn and ended up at the outer limits of Manitou Springs, CO. Retraced my steps and headed back into the network of trails figuring that I still had time to get back to the parking lot in which I had left my car before the gate is locked at 5pm.

When I exited the park in a residential neighborhood at 5pm with no sense of direction (couldn't see the mountains) and no park map to be found, I knew I was in trouble. Panicked for a moment then flagged down a woman on her way home who explained to me that in the summer she shuttles lost hikers back to their cars frequently. She was very gracious about helping and felt fortunate that this particular lost hiker speaks enough English to coherently explain where her car is.

The parking lot was NOT locked. Relieved and annoyed about the panic the threat caused. Will consult with brownie before running in the Garden again.

Took this photo of myself when running 'round, up and down Green Mountain of the Green Mountain Open Space in Lakewood. This run reminded me that I need to add more hills to my running. Heck, need to add speed work as well, so maybe I'll get faster. Were I more motivated, I could find a plan and start on it whilst unemployed again...

I was asked to leave my job at the county jail about a month ago, so I am again unemployed and this time struggling with the feelings of inadequacy that come with being asked to leave a job at which one tries their hardest. Because of this, I should have doubled my efforts at securing employment, but am feeling very unmotivated. I've restarted volunteering at Planned Parenthood. Been running. Been dancing. Not much knitting, but it's supposed to be 50F in Denver tomorrow, so maybe curling up with some wool will feel comfortable.

What I learned on my summer vacation

At the suggestion of Brownie I went wandering about Dinosaur Ridge two weeks ago. I ended up run-walking the 5+ mile loop across Dinosaur Ridge, down into Matthews Winter's Park, past Red Rocks and then back up the Ridge. My lungs took a beating being even further above sea level than in Denver, but it felt good to be trail running at an altitude slightly higher than my norm because in just 3 weeks I'll be going to the InterAMs in Winter Park. The weekend will consist of running trails at a higher altitude than Denver and then drinking. But I digress...

My jaunt up and over Dinosaur Ridge brought me in close proximity to the local avian crowd (photo for Mark's benefit);





much further away by foot from my car without enough snackage than I strictly preferred;









and much closer to the local fault line than I ever though I could get. A fault line. In Colorado! Like _you_ had ever thought of fault lines in Colorado, eh?

Turns out, once upon a time, we also a coast line! There was a river that ran smack through the US during the Paleolithic Era(?) and right past Colorado (though the guide with whom I was talking did know if said river despoited the Sand Dunes in the southwestern corner of the state.). We also had dinosaurs roaming about, though I did not see fit to take photos of their foot prints or bits of skeleton for which Dinosaur Ridge is named.

My guide through this adventure and inspiration for the next, since I didn't make it to Green Mountain on this excursion, was Trailwalker's Guide to the Dinosaur Ridge, Red Rocks and Green Mountain Area by Harald Drewes and John Townrow.

Perhaps I need to start a lobby to my Congressional representatives to put warnings on plastic bags about their hazardousness to felines? Or maybe just my feline. This is the same creature that stood over a lit candle for longer than he ought to have (in my opinion).

Birthday Bash

Julie and I spent my birthday together camping and hiking. We passed the night of my birthday in fine style with wine, cupcakes and a gourmet meal cooked on my new MSR Pocketrocket camp stove in the White River National Forest. The following day we hiked to the Conundrum Hot Springs in order to soak our cares away in the hot springs at tree line (about, what? 8,000ft?). It was a great way to spend my 30th birthday. Photos are on Picasa.

Life Maintenance

I am struggling with living. No, no. Not the actual act of remaining alive; I’m not considering offing myself. I’m struggling with the concept of carrying on a well-lived life, of making the life I am currently living and intend to do so for another 70 years or so more meaningful.

I have previously bored y’all with a discussion of my schedule, but most recently I have been working three to four days in a row. As is my wont, I have a predictable when my workdays fall into this schedule: I work and then spend the next few days catching up on life maintenance.

Life maintenance is a catch-all term for the grocery shopping, dish washing, library going, apartment cleaning, and cat attention paying that must happen after four days of work induced neglect. However, in the past two days I have begun to question the meaningfulness of spending my days off addressing such mundane and menial matters. There isn’t much value in these tasks beyond my own life; does that make doing them unworthwhile?

The answer to that question is no, which I came to whilst run/hiking today. Said tasks are necessary for even the most altruistic of us; without their being accomplished there is no infrastructure from which to base other activities. The key, I discovered today, is to balance the mundane and menial with the exciting and altering to my personal world, if not the world at large.

There is a satisfaction in accomplishing life maintenance activities, but they’re not fulfilling. They need done again and again and again. But going to restorative yoga Friday night, as I did, contributes to positive worldwide karma and leaves me feeling peaceful. And run/hiking the five-mile loop over Dinosaur Ridge, through Matthew/Winter’s Park, and past Red Rocks contributes to my training for a half-marathon and maybe running a relay this fall.

And swimming Monday after work, going to yoga Wednesday night, and tending Julie’s garden in her absence will help to off-set the annoyance I feel at the five loads of laundry that should be able to wash themselves. I hope.

Pringles

Little did I know at the time, busy as I was preparing to go to New Jersey on a flight courtesy of Snowball, but I lost access to the internet connection which I was legitimately using (as opposed to the one I'm now pirating from the deli across the street).

See, I and a few other folks in my building were paying the building manager to maintain an internet connection through Comcast and a wireless network out of her apartment. Comcast came to fix something, but broke the wireless network in the process. Kathy couldn't figure out how to fix it and decided that she has neither the time nor the inclination to continue to maintain the wireless network for the rest of us.

I and another woman were going to go it alone, but she decided she could do without internet at home (the horror!).

I am left either getting a connection of my own (seems silly since there are at least ten network on which my computer picks up) or continuing to pirate the connection of the deli across the street. If I choose the latter, I need to invest in some sort of antennae, as my dear computer, which I just realized is nameless, has an antennae about as useful as... as something that's not useful hardly at all. Presently, I use myself as the antennae, but considering that I haven't decided if I want children in the future, having such radio waves or nuclear energy or whathaveyou coursing through my body is probably not a good idea.

Rob's answer to my dilemma is a Pringles antennae (actually it was a new computer, but I'll choose to ignore that suggestion). Such a device is easily assembled from directions off the interweb with parts that seem readily available... to a roadside bomber. Where does a white, middle class female get an N-connector, a drill, and the know-how to figure the 'back of the can to the drill-point' drill distance? Argh. Isn't there someway to do this with knitting needles, the cat, and a beer bottle?

Schedule

I, like many people, enjoy having a regular schedule. I sleep well; I eat predictably; I can plan social activities. But my schedule since starting work at the jail in March has been anything but regular given the way I was hired (by choice): I fill in when I'm needed.

What follows is my schedule for the past week, which is self-explanatory for my MIAness...
Wednesday - Tuesday OFF
Meant to go to California to see my seester, bro-in-law and nephews but just didn't get there; theoretically I was out and about in Denver though. What did I do? Had a great bike ride on the Platte River Trail where I took photos with my manual SLR. Note to self: need to get those photos developed. Talked to Greg's mortgage broker; we determined I need a permanent job in order to get a mortgage. Finished a painful, difficult knitting project. Started Julie's overdue birthday present. Napped with the cat.

Wednesday 1930 - 0530 (actually left at 0600)
Went ok although I was tired Thursday morning since it is not possible to get enough sleep the day before an overnight shift.

Thursday 1930 - 0530 (actually left at 0630)
Still tired in the morning, but a breakfast burrito keeps me awake during the 30 minute drive home. Beautiful sunrise.

Friday 1930 - 0530 (actually left at 0615)
Slept until 1630 and then futzed around on Facebook until I was almost late to work. Oops. But that's the most I've ever slept directly following an overnight; my body might just be getting the hang of this schedule.

Saturday 1930 - Sunday 0530 (actually left at 0545)
Again slept for 8 hours the following morning; not such a good thing this time since I need to go to bed at, oh, 2000 in order to get 'enough' sleep to get up at 0330 Monday morning to work the 0500 - 1500 shift. Did go hang out with Julie's friends by the pool in southeast Denver.

Monday 0500 - 1500 (actually left at 1630)
Got home and slept for 4 hours. Woke up at 2000 very disoriented, particularly since the days are so long right now (not complaining, just sayin'). Still awake at 2300, despite great tiredness, because I'm working...

Tuesday 1930 - Wednesday 0530
Tired goes without saying.

Wednesday 1930 - Thursday 0530
Must sleep when I get home, but not too long otherwise I won't be able to sleep Thursday night in anticipation for the chiropractor and then driving to the Sand Dunes Friday. Argh. Pretty much a waste of a day.

July's not looking much better, but I'm hoping to have a different gig entirely come August. Send employing thoughts my way, eh?