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In his last days as president, Bush enacted a regulation curtailing patient's access to medical treatment if the provider or pharmacists or secretary of the medical practice disagrees with said medical procedure or medicine or device, etc.. The regulation was billed as a 'conscience clause' to protect providers against being forced to perform abortions -- but a regulation doing just that existed prior to Bush's administration.

As I observe below, the regulation is actually a thinly veiled attempt to limit women's access to contraception. Below is the letter I wrote to Obama, with the help of the website of the National Organization for Women, supporting his rescision of this regulation. Or if you prefer, Planned Parenthood has a page about it, too. No matter how -- go speak your mind!

Dear President Obama,
I strongly support efforts to rescind the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services "provider conscience" regulation (which is in the 'comments' portion of the regulatory process to rescind it, so we need to let Obama know how strongly we support his overturning this regulation).

As a nurse practitioner who closely follows news about reproductive health care access, the aforementioned regulation seems like a thinly veiled attempt to restrict women's access to contraception. This is appalling because, combined with comprehensive sex education, access to
contraception is the best way to reduce unwanted pregnancies, which is a goal no matter what side of the political aisle one sits on.

I urge that the HHS refusal rule be rescinded in its entirety promptly at the end of this comment period. Thank you for the opportunity to speak out.

Sincerely,
Jennifer, NP

Buddhicat

One of the tenets of Buddhism is non-attachment. To me, this means not relying on anyone or -thing to 'make' one happy; it's finding happiness within one's self while still appreciating the people and creatures in one's life.

Another tenet of Buddhism is reincarnation. This one is huge. The short version is that all sentient beings (roughly bugs to humans on the evolutionary scale) have wants and desires that cause us suffering when they're not met (which is a lot of the time). So, those who practice Buddhism meditate, do good deeds, treat others as we'd like to be treated, etc. so that, ideally, we reach enlightenment (freedom from suffering) in our current life. Given how little I've been meditating, my reaching enlightenment seems unlikely, but perhaps the attitude with which I regard the cat will help the process.

Some regard the relationship of cat to human to be that of pet to owner, but I find that set-up to imply attachment of the human to the animal. So I am turning the dynamic 'round. I am regarding Max the Cat as a sentient being who needs care during his current life as a cat until he can be reincarnated on his next spin through the cycle of rebirth.

Between the waking me up in the middle of the night and howling at everyone who walks by the apartment (we live at the front of the building, so that's pretty much everyone) he is pushing the limits of good karma, but I've still got my sights set on his becoming a human next time.

Character: a meta-analysis

In a book on how to do a myriad things well (the title of which I will remember the moment after this post goes live), there is a chapter on how to discern a person's character. The first step is to figure out what character means to you.

After thinking on it for a week, I decided that interweb research was in order. One of the definitions that helped me get thinking on the subject is: "The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another." Note 1: I've discovered that some define personality with the same terms hence this discussion will address both. Note 2: These qualities or features are addressed in dichotomy with the realization that very little is black and white. What follows is a list of qualities or features of character that come to mind quickly:

Honest/dishonest; ungracious/gracious; prompt/tardy; passionate/apathetic; engaged/distanced; altruistic/selfish; patient/impatient; laid-back/anxious; sympathetic/callous; logical/emotional; empathetic/self-centered; corrupt/honorable, pure; adventurous/cautious; liberal/conservative (although this dichotomy leaves room for many many incorrect conclusions as to someone's character); forthright/deceitful; forward/reticent; sexual/repressed...

But how do you discern a person's character? Perhaps I'm jaded, but it seems particularly easy with, for instance online dating, to misrepresent oneself. Have I found this to be true in reality? No. But the better question is, have I been paying attention?

A straight forward character trait to evaluate is "outdoorsy." It seems every man on Match who lives in Colorado says he loves the outdoors. I've found, with one clear exception, most of the men I've met are outdoorsy at least in the way that I am; they participate in weekend outdoor adventures year-round. But what about the less obvious characteristics -- qualities such as empathy, callousness, altruism, and deceitfulness? Beyond what is said in the profile, how does one get a sense of such things in a first, second, or even third meeting?

Perhaps evaluating a person's more obscure personality traits needs to be like doing online research. I start with the person as the topic and check the dating site for a basic idea about him, links to additional sources (rarely), and a jumping off point for formulating additional questions. Then exchanging emails helps to flush out some of the questions brought to mind by the profile. Finally, meeting in person can confirm or refute some opinions formed during the computer research phase. And, provides information about interpersonal chemistry that cannot be evaluated electronically. Now to figure out which characteristics are deal-breakers... *sigh* the quest for good relationships is never-ending.

"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - Abraham Lincoln

I. Am. Not. New.

I have been job hunting for a year and, as the process drags on, what I hear with more and more frequency is that I'm a 'new grad' and managers want to hire employees with experience. So I am writing this piece as an ode to all that is not new about me as an ego boost in otherwise ego deflating times.

I am not new at job hunting; I've been doing that for a year plus. Nor am I new at doing female annual exams; I did 250 of those in the five months I spent in prison filling in for the permanent employee. I am not new at nursing in odd situations; I've worked at a clinic in Nepal, state prison, as a traveling camp nurse in hotel rooms all along the eastern seaboard and given flu shots in most of the conference rooms in downtown Denver.

I am not new to compassion, which lies at the heart of nursing; I have it in droves. I cried when I put away my Cabbage Patch kids because I was afraid they'd suffocate in the plastic bag in the attic. I pity my cat for being stuck inside all day because he seems bored (although he'd seem dead were he to run around Colfax during rush hour). I nearly faint when I watch someone get local anesthesia because I know that the anesthesia shot is the worst part and I hate that s/he is suffering through it.

Finally, I am not new at identifying my strengths and weaknesses. I am not new to creating strengths from weaknesses. I am not new at accepting criticism, constructive and otherwise, about my weaknesses. I am not new at accepting praise for my strengths, although that doesn't translate into my doing so well.

I. Am. Not. New. Now hire me, please!

18 and counting

Since defecting to Colorado in August I have been on 18 first dates. I have had coffee and conversation with dancers and teachers, doctors and baristas, computer geeks and office assistants. This experience has led to a better understanding of what I am seeking in a partner; knowing that I am able to thrive outside of a relationship but also that there is a particular strength and energy to be had from within a romantic relationship; and the growing realization that finding someone that suits me is no small feat.

On the seven hour car ride to the Durango Snowdown Hash in Durango, CO, Cum Scout, a fellow Denver hasher, and I spent the early hours of the trip wrestling with the topic of interpersonal relationships. I told him the story of my 18 first dates. He told me a story about a roommate who still talks about a relationship that ended five years back. Cum Scout and I agree that five years is too long to dwell on a former relationship; we refrained from judging the 18 dates. What ultimately came out of this conversation is a theory of dating that we've decided is the only way to go.

From knowing that the population of the Earth is 6.5 million people, we surmised that there are 3.25 million men and 3.25 million women. Subtract approximately 65,000 exclusively homosexual people from the total (seems like a small number to me, but that's another post), and there are 3.24 million men chasing after 3.24 million women. And then subtract those who are married, celibate by choice, too young or too old, live on the wrong side of the world, aren't dating, etc. ...

The millions that are datable can be divided up by having the individuals take the Keirsey Temperament Sorter type. Everyone falls into predominantly one personality category; so by using straight-up division (as opposed to statistical analysis which would be more accurate but more difficult) we determined that there are 20,250,000 people of each type of personality roaming the Earth. Subtract from that number the aforementioned non-datable folks, figure out your personality type and the type of personality with whom you are most compatible, and voila! Your dating pool.

So, I just need to find all of the available, English-speaking, Denver-dwelling ESFJs and date 'em one by one until I find one that suits me well. Brilliant, eh? I thought so. Now I'm off to this site to put my money where my mouth is.

Love song to Mount Elbert

I can't remember the last time I felt ill (and exhilarated and cleansed by) physical exertion, but as of Saturday my memory has been refreshed. The adventure began Friday night when I met Truman, Paul and Kevin in Golden from whence we headed to Jeremy's place in Silverthorne: the jumping off point for our winter ascent of Mount Elbert.

After collectively sleeping poorly, we headed out at 5:19am through the 19F air. One of the guys commented that we were one minute past our departure time for every degree above zero on the thermometer. Truman lamented our not running 40 minutes late. Indeed.

We left the parking lot at 7am to hike to the trail head. Two miles and a few layers later, we strapped on snowshoes and hit the trail. All was well until Kevin, who was breaking trail, stopped in a grove of Aspen trees and suggested that we were no longer on trail. The four guys put their heads together as I, admitting my propensity for getting lost, remained silent until spoken to.

(It was a few hours later that Truman also admitted his propensity for getting lost. Whether in denial about following into the wilderness in the snow one who so easily goes astray [me] or understanding his propensity for modesty [Kevin, Jeremy and Paul?], the lot of us ignored Truman's declaration and the guys continued to include him in the route planning. Given that we lived through the experience, following the directions of the self-professed directionally challenged one wasn't a bad decision, but one might question doing so again.)

My favorite part of the trip, as gauged by how much I laughed, was the, as Truman phrased it, impromptu luge we created down the slope of the Ridge-to-the-north-of-Elbert-we-think. If only there had a been a video camera at the bottom... I haven't laughed so hard in ages. It felt really good.

Considering the tacitly agreed upon aim of the outing -- to summit the mountain -- one might consider it a failure. Fortunately we (I say 'we' because I've already read Truman's account of the experience) had subgoals that were met. I aimed to snowshoe (check), enjoy myself (check) and meet cute, available boys (notice the lack of 'check'). Two outta three, and surviving a trip that made me physically ill, ain't bad.

Photo: Aspen trees with what is probably not Mount Elbert in the background. Sadly, I did not follow through on my instinct to charge the camera battery before leaving Friday, thus you're looking at one of three photos I took on this trip. The other two are here. But here are Truman's photos which do an excellent job of capturing the 'je ne sais quoi' of the trip. Although he did (mercifully) leave this one off...

Buddhism vs. Hashing, Round 1

It started with the meditation, 'Worldly Concerns', led by Ani Karin on the CD of 'The Complete Lam Rim with The Foundation of All Good Qualities by Lama Tsong Khapa'. Wait. Actually, no. It started with my complaining to Julie about pain in my left foot, which she diagnosed as a stress fracture and prescribed rest (i.e. not running). Thus, I was searching for a way to manage the stress I typically release while running, which led me to the meditation practice I had all but abandoned upon leaving the Kopan Monastery in early May.

Despite my good intentions, the voice inside my head interrupted by a) taking on my mother's voice and warning me to be careful with lit candles (particularly with a cat around) b) pointing out that the living room of my apartment, which is 50 feet off of Colfax, is not an ideal place to get one's meditation groove on c) emphasizing that that I miss meditating with its sighs of relief and d) taunting me with my fear that Hashing and Buddhism are incompatible. And you, knowing little to nothing about both Hashing and meditation, say, "No kidding!' I coulda told you that!" But please, hold your comments until I've had a chance to explain myself.

First there's a schedule conflict; I often miss the Sunday evening meditation group at First Unitarian Denver because I'm at a post-Hash gathering. Yes, there is Hashing on Saturday. No, I don't attend because it's either in Fort Collins or Colorado Springs (=1+ hours' drive). Driving such distance in order to participate in an activity which I could start on my front stoop is, as much as I love running and Hashers, a poor use of gas in these economically and environmentally challenged times. So Hashing is geographically limited to metro Denver, which limits us to Sundays.

The next difficulty is a difference in philosophy. Hashing in metro Denver is first and foremost about drinking beer. Whereas the fifth precept of a Buddhist lay-person is to refrain from use of intoxicants which lead to loss of mindfulness (i.e. beer). You see the obvious conflict, yes?

Finally, and the kicker for me, Hash banter is typically much coarser than that in which I usually participate. Perhaps it's a safe, healthy outlet for frustration. Or perhaps I'm wracking up negative karma that's going to bite me in the butt in a future life. At this point, I am a two-faced Buddhist, but the alternative is to be a prissy Hasher. Or compromise by being mediocre at both. Where is my priority; to excel at being Buddhist or at Hashing? *gulp* Just by typing those words, I will be made to drink at the next Hash! And have violated Buddhism's 'middle way'. Gah! What to do?

Perhaps I'll start with some meditation...

Photos -- Top: The scenery on the snow shoe Hash in which I participated at the Durango Snowdown 1/20-2/1; notice the derth of snow. Middle: Snowshoe Hash on-out. Bottom: Snowshoe Hash beer check.