Psychic map tune-up

I don’t want to write any more. I wonder if this feeling stems from the discipline of the blog or jadedness about Nepal? In the former, tell me, blog writers, what keeps you writing? And for the latter, travelers, how do you keep a place fresh for yourselves, to keep from wanting to maim every non-English speaker that crosses your path?

Yes, yes. Of course I jest. I am not experiencing homicidal ideations (that’s feelings, for the lay-folk). But I am feeling annoyed and frustrated and fed-up with my current situation. The charm of the gaggle of pre-teen boys hanging around the nurses’ office has worn thin. My inability to communicate, except on the most basic level, with most of the people I interact with every day has lost its novelty. And it doesn’t help that I’ve had two bouts of diarrhea in five days.

Mark’s friend Ian bounced ‘round the world for something like 700 days. And I ask myself, ‘Self, how the hell did he keep going? How did he continually adjust to changes in language, food, social norms, and traffic laws? And what affect did those adjustments have on his “psychic map”, that sense of who we are in relation to friends, society, even the geography of home?’ And I wonder if my irritability stems from being full up on adjustments to my psychic map.

Adjustments such as instinctually looking right then left, rather than left then right, before crossing the street; responding to a question first in Nepali and then translating the answer into English to make sure I meant what I said; and not eating in public out of awareness that I have the luxury of eating between meals that many do not. No, I admit, not the most difficult personal changes to execute. But even little stressors, when experienced for, for example the 77 days I have been in Nepal, is exhausting; I sleep nine or ten hours a night and still need a nap in the afternoon.

Perhaps what is needed to balance these Nepali-influenced changes is an anti-Nepali measure. Wearing shorts and a tank top – so much female skin exposed, so not culturally appropriate! Or abandon the culture all together for a night in a Western hotel, as a former fellow volunteer suggested? Or a healthy dose of American macaroni and cheese from a good tourist restaurant. Or maybe all three.